bastardfromabasket:

1. Become extremely frustrated and breathe heavily.
2. Punch patient repeatedly in the chest. If you can hear ribs cracking, you’re doing it right.
3. Repeatedly yell COME ON. COME OOOON. COME ON. Put Gob Bluth to shame.
4. Lose hope and begin Jearing.
5. Jear.
6. Still Jearing? Good.
7. Jear some more for good measure.
8. Suddenly regain hope and continue punching patient in the chest.
9. Save the world.
10. Jear.
11. Tell everyone about that one time you gave someone CPR and saved their life for the rest of time.
12. Accuse anyone who disputes your claim of being drunk.
13. Jear.